A Friend on the Inside

Last Tuesday I had a new neighbor move into the bunk next to me. Ortiz was known for his D&D prowess but over the past week I've come to see him as a friend. This past weekend we stayed up till odd hours of the night talking about family, C., his girlfriend, God, whatever came to mind . Unfortunately he left this morning to go to a new unit. I was looking forward to getting to know him better and picking his brain for not only D&D tips but life lessons as well.

Today I realize how lonely prison life will make a person. Despite the mail from loved ones and living in a dorm with over 60 people, I still feel pangs of loneliness. The people here are hard to open up to and to have an honest conversation with. Ortiz was the first since I landed on this unit. I hate this experience, partly because I've never been in this situation before, having grown up with an amazing family, and also because I truly feel like I shouldn't be here.

Lord, please accept my fears. Comfort me. Allow me some peace. Most of all, Lord, please restore me to C. and my family. I miss their presence in my life.