A book friend

More good news for the library: we have a Half Price Books hook-up.

On Thursdays I get off work just as the Bible study is starting so I often see the visitors as they come in to lead the class. One of the volunteers, a bear of a man named Rick, brought a box full of books from home a few weeks ago that he gave to the library. So the Thursday crew has already blessed us once.

Tonight we had an uncommon visitor. Katie is a missionary who is currently living stateside and is full of spunk and, like others in the crew, has a passion for sharing the Christ-life. When I showed up for class she greeted me and asked if I worked in the library. After my affirmative answer, she asked if she could donate books. After another affirmative, I got to hear a cool story.

A few years ago, Katie was trying to start a library in Kenya. She went to a Half Price bookstore and asked if they had any books they needed to get rid of. The clerk replied that the store did not have unused inventory, but she could check their warehouse in Dallas. Upon inquiry, the warehouse attendant said that, as long as Katie had proof of 501.3 (c) status, she could get whatever she wanted. Needless to say, the Kenyan library was a success. And now Katie wants to share the blessing with our library.

I might need some help picking up the books," Katie remarked.

"I know someone who would probably love to meet you and get the books," I replied and gave her my mom's contact info. "She even has a list of suggestions to help out."

What a boon it would be to have more free books for our decrepit-yet-slowly-progressing library.

Wild at Heart

In the Thursday night Bible study, we have just started reading Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge. It's written as the woman's Wild at Heart, which the group finished just before I joined them. I felt like I ought to read Wild at Heart first to figure out the men's side before going in to the woman's book. We had an extra copy in the library, so I brought it home Friday to start chewing on.

Once I started, I wasn't content with chewing on Wild at heart; O had to inhale. I kept nodding my head in agreement or feeling my heart in my throat as I read about how God created a man and what keeps him form living up to his designed purpose. My mind kept thinking about how I don't live up to the title of "man" and where, in my past, my insecurities came from. There were many mini-prayers asking for my eyes to be opened and my deep wounds and fears to be dealt with.

I guess those prayers were answered. At no time last night was I asleep for more than two and half hours. Too many dreams that related to my reading ans thoughts woke me up. Each time, I took a minute to recall the dream and thank God for revealing me to myself. Even though I was irked by loss of sleep, it was cool to know that I was being dealt with. It's cliche, but be careful because you might get what you ask for. I'm glad my night was interrupted by m y Father's love, though.

I'm not finished with e book, yet, and even further from being who God has purposed me to be. However, I feel like a big change came this weekend in the way I look at myself and the guys around me. Some major questions have been answered and opened up to new things to think about. So far, my weekend has been nothing short of amazing and it's all because God is at work.

Mystery Man

For much of the day I had a mystery cellmate. I was moved out of the new arrival dorm into a more permanent spot. When I dragged all my stuff into the cell, I saw all the signs of an inhabitant but nobody around. No one claimed to be my cellmate in the dayroom either. After I finished unpacking, I went to the library to ask about a job.

When I arrived on the unit the education coordinator told me she would look into the library job and let me know if it was available when she called me in later that week. I still haven't been called in, so I figured I would go straight to the source. The librarian told me she could use an extra person. Step one complete. I happened to see the education coordinator in the hall and asked her if she remembered my request. She said yes and wondered if the librarian needed anyone. I told her what the librarian had just told me. About twenty minutes later the librarian came to tell me "Looks like I'm going to be your new boss." Step two complete. Now I wait for the job slip.

Back at my cell with a new book to read and new hopes for a better job, I still didn't see my cellmate. Who could it be? What's he going to be like? From the artifacts I could see - a Bible and Christian books - I gathered some idea. There as the call for rec so I was off again. Maybe I'd find out who the mystery man was when I got back.

No such luck. Even after dinner I didn't know who I was going to be living with. It wasn't until after my Bible study this evening that I came home to another person in the cell. The mystery man was here. He is a young Christian guy, both physically and spiritually. He told me he has education in the morning and works the rest of the day in the kitchen. It looks like we'll click well.

This spot seems perfectly prepared for me. I have the cell to myself all day for reading, writing and study. My cellmate is a Christian who I can both nurture and learn from. We probably won't butt heads much, if at all. It's as if God looked at my personality and habits and found the perfect fit.

A new place, a good place

I have been very blessed to end up in a dorm with quite a few other Christian guys. Last Saturday they put together a big meal for all the Christians that included fish, chili, soft tacos and cheese sauce. They invited me even though I had nothing to offer. It was really cool. I hadn't seen anything on that scale since I've been in prison. There were at least thirty tacos and two huge bowls of Ramen, chili and beans.

The guys have a Bible study in the dayroom on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I didn't know about it until I was asked to join on Wednesday. Instead of a discussion-led study, I encountered an hour and a half-long message on "Who is Jesus?" that seemed more fit for unbelievers, at least those few who would sit and listen for 1 1/2 hours.

After the "study" I was asked by Vega, the gregarious coordinator of Christians, if I wanted to lead on Friday. Sheesh, I just got here, I thought, but I told him I'd pray about it and let him know what I heard the next day. I felt like I was being led to a topic so the following evening I told Vega I was ready.

I took the guys to Jesus' answer to the lawyer's question "What is the most important commandment?" In a nutshell, Jesus replied. "Love God, love people." I asked how we can honor and love God and got some great discussion going with some good examples, too. For loving people, I took them to 1 Corinthians 13 and we worked our way through each characteristic of love - What does a patient love look like? What does a kind love look like? Again, I received some creative answers that I didn't expect, yet fit perfectly. I closed by challenging them to think about how they are loving God and people through the weekend and the next week.

I had a few guys com eup to me afterward and tell me they needed to think about some of the stuff more often. I'm so glad to be in a spot with other beleivers actively participating in the Christ walk.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

- Matthew 22:36-40

Bible Study long-distance

This week I started a new Bible study, though this one is through correspondence with the American Bible Academy. It is free to inmates and their spouses, so if you know anyone who is interested, you can pass on the word.

The study I have begun is on the Gospel of John. After this one comes a pair of studies on Christian doctrine, then Acts and Galatians. The study on John is mostly just reading the verses and answering questions about the details. There isn't much to slow you down with thinking so I have to pause every now and then to think deeper and pray about what I've read.

There has been one good section on Christ's discussion with Nicodemus about baptism that went beyond the text to show why baptism is necessary. I miss being able to talk about and go deeper in Scripture with a group of friends like I did in the college ministry I was involved in before I was incarcerated. This is a good substitute, though. There's just not a lot of meaty stuff so far.

Tonight we finished the Restoring Joy Bible study. The guys actually finished the book last week while was in my solitary cell, but tonight we shared how the class has helped in our walk with Christ. It was really cool to hear a lot of the guys stories from their lives - so different from where I came from, but ringing very true at the same time.

I shared how the class and the book I'm reading, Truefaced, have made me realize the fault of my own way in that I need to just trust God to act in His own way in His own time. When I was on the outside, I was doing many things I thought would bring pleasure to God, but I have found that what is most pleasing to Gos is for us to let go of our own efforts and just trust what He will do. Sound easy, huh?

"Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing." - Ephesians 2:8-10

As part of the Bible Study process to restoring joy, we are supposed to share last week's tally with someone that we trust. That is something that's hard to come by in here. I sent a request to the chaplain to visit with him about my past, but I haven't heard back from him except for an afternoon that he called me down to his office just before count time, then left for a meeting.

I have a friend here, Will, that I 've been helping out. We were bunk mates over the summer and we've been in many of the same classes. We have talked about helping each other after we get out, maybe sharing an apartment or house. We're both in the Bible study so I figured we could trade histories with each other, seeing as we could be living with each other down the road.

Talking about our histories is one thing that most everyone here stays away from. There are any number of seedy guys who will use anything they learn about you to bring you down, so the level of trust that most guys have for anyone is pretty low. I've only shared my past with one other person and he was a fellow Christian that was about to leave to go home.

Needless to say, it took a bit if time to work up the courage to share such personal stuff as my history. Of anyone here at this unit, I trust Will more than anyone. After I told him about everything, he expressed solidarity, just as I did with him. I think knowing each othere's past will allow us to be a better encouragement to each other in the future. Of course, we can always us more of that.

Restoring Joy

I've been going to a Bible study on Tuesday nights called Restoring Joy. It's a twelve-step program for facing past hurts and gaining peace. I feel like I've already worked through my hurts, even those I've caused others, and don't have much to contribute to the discussions. I 've been praying for guidance on whether to continue or not. The teacher suggested that I wait until after tonight's session on tallying the good and bad events of our pasts and handing them over to God.

Like I said, I think I've put the past behind me, so this tally step isn't much for me. Just a way of jotting down the process I've been through. I was able to give some input from my own experiences. I don't know if I was actually helpful or not. I hope God uses this class to mend some of the guys and that I will learn or be used for some cool stuff. I think I will stick it out to watch Him work.

Restoring Joy

The chaplain started a new Bible study this evening called Restoring Joy. It's a twelve-step program to recovering peace and putting hurts behind you by looking at the Beatitudes and a few more of Jesus' teachings.

Tonight we got way off subject a few times, but I think some guys still learned even from the rabbit trails. A few of the guys asked some very elementary questions and others that were more plainly misguided. I hope this class gives them a more solid foundation on which to place their faith and reveals to them a God with whom they really would want a relationship.

The subject matter tonight was a lot of milk for me. I'm sure I will get a new perspective on who I am (or at least receive a good reminder) but I think the class is tailored to young Christians. I pray that everyone taking part fall deeper in love with the only God who loves us.

Don't sweat the small - or easy - stuff

Today I had my first lab practical in geology. Again, it was mostly review - just rocks and minerals from my physical geology class that I took before I was arrested. All we had to do was identify the rocks and minerals by their names and identify what type of rock they were, all multiple choice. I scored higher on this test than any other so far - 109 out of a possible 110. The only point I missed was a word in my answer on the bonus. I wish I had bigger challenges. It's kind of annoying to me to receive 100's on everything because I don't feel like I'm really being pushed to learn.

The same thing is happening in the Bible study that I go to on Tuesday nights. Tonight we stayed on topic, but the topics were either information that I'd heard many times before or so stretched in their spirituality that I didn't feel comfortable. I didn't want to speak up because I don;t want to confuse the other guys in the class or look like I'm contradicting the teacher. I think I'll give it a couple more weeks before I make my decision to leave the class or not.

Restoring Joy

The chaplain started a new Bible study this evening called Restoring Joy. It's a twelve-step program to recovering peace and putting hurts behind you by looking at the Beatitudes and a few more of Jesus' teachings. From flipping through the book it looks like it will be a good twelve weeks.

Tonight we got way off subject a few times, but I think some guys still learned even from the rabbit trails. A few of the guys asked some very elementary questions and some others that were plainly misguided. I hope this class gives them a more solid foundation on which to place their faith and reveals to them a God with whom they really would want a relationship.

The subject matter tonight was a lot of milk for me. I'm sure I will get a new perspective on who I am (or at least receive a good reminder) but I think the class is tailored to young Christians. I pray that everyone taking part falls deeper in love with the only God who loves us.