Praise - John C. Chandy

Praise God for all things green.

Lime jello, blades of grass, emeralds,
Chameleons, the neon river frog,
Heavy papayas begging to be picked,
Lilies, thrusting their tender shoots through dirt,
Love when it knows nothing more than hope



Praise God for all things brown
Hot coffee, sloppy mud, chocolate,
The warthog's tail and Stephen's hazel eyes,
Crafty cinnamon biting with its bark,
My mother's face, as soft as a baby skin,
Love leaving its stain on colorless days.



Praise God for all things red
Round bindi, rose petals, ladybugs,
A cardinal, sweet Hannah's dumpling cheeks,
Angry dried chilies waiting to set fires,
The line of blood that seals a healing wound,
Love giving with no promise of return.



Praise God for all things black
Umbrellas, peppercorns, ebony,
The zebra's stripe and Anna's curly hair,
Pungent fish tamarind seeping bitter truth,
The thick unseeing darkness of the night
Love struggling when it cannot understand.



Praise God for all things white
Shaving cream, smooth eggshells, buttermilk,
Albino pigs, rabbits romping in snow,
Steaming basmati rice humming a tune,
A waterfall half-glimpsed through forest tress,
Love reaching through darkness into light.

A job of sorts

I've finally been moved but not quite where I wanted to go. I was on the wing where the guy who assaulted me was staying. A few weeks ago I sent a request to be moved because we go to rec together and I wanted to be proactive in taking care of any trouble.

I was moved today and even got a new job. The only problem is that the dorm that I moved to has been going to rec with the other guy's dorm, so nothing has changed. I tried to explain this to the lieutenant that moved me, but he didn't seem to be accommodating. I talked to the major, too, and he said he would look in to it and see if there really was a problem. I hope it doesn't take weeks to sort out like this move did.

My new dorm and job are alright, though. The dorm only has ten people, so it's quiet most of the time (though the TV is in the same area as the bunks and is on all day.) My job is on the shower crew. We go to different dorms in the early morning (12-2 am) and clean showers. Not glamorous but at least I'm doing something.

Watching history being made.

Last night I saw two incredible events. The Olympics have been awesome and awe inspiring, at least as much as I have seen. Michael Phelps took his eighth gold of these games and Usain Bolt slaughtered his own record in the 100M while cruising into the finish beating his chest.



It was so cool to see Phelps get eight because so many were expecting him to do just that and I think he would have been quite disappointed to finish with any less. The best part about his golds is that he had to have support from his teammates for a few of them in the relays.



Usain Bolt is such a freak, in a good way. He looks way too tall to be a good sprinter and yet, fifteen meters before reaching the finish, he slowed, put his hands out palms up, and then beat this chest. Oh yeah, he broke his world record for the gold, too. Crazy!



Both of these athletes are so dominant in their sports right now and don't show any signs of letting up anytime soon. And I get to see the in their dominance.

"A true friend..." *

I had a great visit today. While I was outside running this morning I saw some friends from home drive up. I was doing a light run because I expected them and stopped to talk with a friend while I waited to be called in to the visit. When I was called, I just hurried back to the dorm to throw on some different clothes and set off without showering. I figured they wouldn't smell me through the glass (not that I smelled too bad...) and I didn't want to keep them waiting.

The couple that came to see me are really more friends of my folks than mine, but it has been cool to build a relationship through letter writing over the past year. They have been one of my biggest encouragements since coming to prison, real evidence of Christ's community.

We talked about all kinds of things: mission trips, work, school, my experiences here, their kids. Their curiosity and desire to know more about my situation made me feel so blessed. I hope that I gave an accurate picture and the details they were interested in hearing.

* "A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."

Everything Belongs - Part 2

Jesus tells us in the Gospels, "Don't be afraid."
He's saying it is radically okay.
You can trust yourself because God trusts you,
using your journey, your experience.
Nothing is wasted; all is forgiven.
Nothing will be used against you.
In fact, "I will even use your sins to transform you!"

...If that's not good news, what would the good news be?
...Your journey matters, and God's covenanted love toward you is always unconditional and usually unilateral.
Suddenly, it is a very safe universe.

Richard Rohr

Tonight we had the first chapel service that I've been to since I've been at this unit. All the previous services were unannounced and I was at recreation every time. A few days ago a flyer went up in the dorms from the new chaplain that announced a weekly service on Wednesday mornings.

I was the only guy from my dorm to go, but I was encouraged to see about 75 guys when I arrived mid-song. It was great to sing praise with fellow Christians for the first time in months. Without much singing in the recent past our voices didn't sound great. It may have been just noise, but it was joyful noise. SO cool.

The message was great, too. At my last unit the guy that organized chapel and gave the messages did so in a very elementary and watered down style that I found almost insulting, but this chaplain offered some thoughts to chew on. He spoke about our indifference toward God and His calling. I think I still struggle sometimes with just plain ignoring God or taking God for granted, so I found the message challenging.

I'm really excited about being able to come together with other Christians again and agreeing with God. It's a desolate place in which we live and the brothers around me are an encouragement as we spur each other on toward Christ.



"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
- Hebrews 10:24

No Hay Paraiso

You would think that for a bunch of guys who proclaim to love sports, the Olympics would be one of the biggest attractions. It is for me, but not so much for the other guys in the dorm. Instead of watching Michael Phelps run for the record of eight goals (or rather, swim), these guys watch reruns of Prison Break, Terminator, and the busty novella (Spanish soap opera) Sin Senos No Hay Paraiso
( Spanish for "without breasts there is no paradise".) Sin senos has been on for the past two months and cannot be overturned from its 9:00 spot because the guys go gaga over the females who play the prostitute protagonists. It's a stupid show if you ask me: terrible acting and story. I just stay on my bunk.



I would rather see records fall than silly Spanish shows. Hopefully I can catch the highlights in the morning. But even those aren't the same as watching in real-time as the action unfolds, rooting the athletes on with excitement jackhammering in your chest when it all comes down to the wire. The once-every-four-years events and history-making performances are a meaningful break from the otherwise monotonous prison life.

Everything Belongs - Richard Rohr *

The greatest spiritual teacher teaches us how to see clearly and keep our hearts open in hell.
The moments of hell come when everything militates against the open heart.
Times come when we can think of hundreds of logical reasons to close our hearts.
Don't most of us do that?
Some are already closed down in their late teens.

...In contemplative prayer, we move into a different realm.
It is not the arena of merit, of reward and punishment;
it is such an utterly different world from the ground up that most religion drags along the reward/punishment system since it can understand no other.
Crime, punishment, performance and reward are the only ways we know to get people in the game.

But love flourishes only in the realm of freedom.

* Richard Rohr

What Olympics?

I've been looking forward to the Olympics almost all summer. I have always enjoyed watching the sports that never get any airtime between Games, but even more I love the stories of the competitors, the highs and lows, boundaries and breakthroughs. So, with anticipation, I stayed up this afternoon (usually I'm dead asleep after staying up all night reading and writing) to watch the opening ceremonies tonight.


Unfortunately I share the TV with twenty other guys, most of whom couldn't care less about the Olympics in general and the opening ceremonies in particular. Instead of the torch-lighting and march of nations, we watched Hellboy.


I suppose it's just as well because the NBC station comes in with snow and a little crackle. The all-metal building that I live in blocks a lot of most channels' signals, producing a show of mostly electronic snow, but NBC is one of the worst. The Olympics will have better viewing on Telemundo. So I will be rooting for the EEU to va por el oro.

Pensive

As I was lying on my bunk today I realized that I have absolutely zero responsibility here. I could lie here all day and all night, never doing anything, and nothing would happen except an empty stomach from missing meals. Even then, the state would take care of my sickness and lazily attempt to nurse me back to health.

I don't have a job to work, rent to pay, classes to attend, events to go to, or even groceries to buy. I have to create responsibilities like reading, running, and writing letters. With luck, I'll be in college classes next month.

It scares me a bit to think that this is how the state is supposedly preparing inmates for a life after prison. If you ask me, I would say that prison should be a place for people to get their act straight and ready themselves to do better when their next chance at life outside comes. The state helps a little bit but certainly stops short of helping everyone.

Last week I had a friend, Smoke, that I think got his parole and went home. He didn't have a job here and had not taken classes except the one Bible study course offered to almost anyone. I really hope he makes it, but the state did nothing to help him prepare for his release and shock of returning to the fast-paced American life and culture. If he does come back, I believe it will be partly the state that is to blame.

A running friend

I set a new best distance for running during recreation - nearly five miles. If I take out the time between laps ten and eleven it took thirty-six minutes - not too shabby for a guy building back into shape.



I went outside this morning with Carlos, a friend from my last dorm and fellow soccer player, to run together at rec. We ran together when soccer games were abruptly ended due to a ball sailing into no-man's-land over the fence. Those times weren't really training but only finding something to do once the soccer action stopped. We were usually only able to fit in two or three laps before tiring or rec being called in.

This morning we decided to try for distance, as far as we could run without killing ourselves. Carlos has not been running as often as I have so I didn't expect him to keep pace the whole time. But he surprised me. He kept pace and even quickened toward the end of our target laps until we were sprinting ( well, as much as a sprint is possible after a log run) to finish.

It felt great to put so much mileage underfoot. Being able to run city streets, country roads, or park trails would be a huge improvement over these repetitive laps, but these laps give a decent high nonetheless.

Waiting for an answer

Right after I was moved into this dorm I put in a request to move because the dorm itself is just plain rundown. Also, the guy who punched me in the face a few months ago was moved to this wing, which meant we would go to meals and recreation together. As a precaution, I asked the lieutenant who investigated that incident if I could be moved.

This morning, as I was walking to breakfast, I asked him when I might be moving. He told me it would be in the next couple of days; he needed to talk with the classification officer first ( the same lady that took so long with the visitation list changes.) Who knows how long this will take.

I'm hoping to be moved quickly and maybe into the dorm where a few friends from my last dorm ended up. Getting out of this overwhelmingly negative dorm will be great.

Precious time

I had a good visit from my folks today. We even got extra time. What a blessing!


Recently my family went to New Mexico on vacation to visit White Sands, the Bluegrass Festival in Weed, and a few other random spots around Ruidoso and Lincoln National Forest. My mom told me about some of the trip last week, so this time it was my dad who gave me his impressions from the trip. Once again, I wished I could have been with them.

With about thirty minutes left, the guard who watches the time went out and a younger guard took his spot. I don't know if he was being nice, forgot to tell us our time was up, or was just giving us the extra time up to 5 o'clock when visitation is over. In my case, we got to hang out for about 45 minutes beyond the usual time limit. Even so, the extra time added didn't seem long enough.

These boots were made for walking (not running)

Over the past few days I've gone out to recreation in the morning before the sun is too hot. I've been doing a lot of running - intervals followed by approximately 100 yard sprints. The air feels great in the morning and there's usually a nice breeze to wick away the sweat.

This morning Fifth needed someone to wear his friend's shoes out to rec to return them after being cleaned for visitation. I wore them outside, expecting to get a similar size to be able to run in. Instead I got boots that were two sizes too big. My feet were going to have a rough time today.

I didn't want to just walk around the field so I cinched up the laces as tight as I could and still had about an inch and a half in the toebox. Because the shoes were so floppy and heavy I decided to drop the hard running and just go for distance. I managed three miles before my calves were screaming for relief from the too-big boots. I guess it was kind of like weight training with all that extra mass. For the remainder of rec I juggled a soccer ball barefoot on the dry grass, which felt far better than running in clunkers.