The adventure of a visit

I had a very pleasant surprise today. My parents made the trek form Arlington to Dayton to visit me. I didn't think they would be coming so soon, but I was sure glad to see them.

When I found out that I had visitors waiting, I got ready as usual - putting gel in my hair, brushing my teeth, and doing a quick shave. I don't have super white clothes anymore, so I had to figure out which one of my sets of clothes had the least stains. After the prep, I headed out of the dorm and over to the admin building where visitation is held. On the way I realized i had no idea how to get in the building. From my side I saw the mailroom window and a small courtyard with a few palmettos, flowering plants and a koi pond - a koi pond! What the heck? The courtyard was enclosed by a gated chain link fence and had a door at the opposite side that led into the admin building.

Because I had no idea what I was doing, I stood there and looked around like a dunce until I heard - click. The gate behind me had opened to the courtyard. I looked down at it, then looked around to see if anyone was coming. Nope. Guess it's for me.

I moved inside the courtyard, letting the gate close behind me and resuming the dunce pose while wondering what a koi pond was doing in this place. Click. Hey, the admin door opened. I moved into a 5 X 5 room with two new doors. Which one do I go through? I stood there a bit, then - click. These clicking doors have served me well so far, so I guess I'll follow them again. Success! I found the strip search hallway leading to the visitation room.

After a quick strip and redressing, I found my folks. What an adventure! I got to fill them in on all the new stuff going on and hear how everything back home was going. This unit's visitation has windows to the outside unlike the unit I came from that my mom likened to a bunker. What a blessing.

As I write this I can't help thinking that the clicking doors are probably very similar to the way some animals are herded from pen to pen. Hmmmm...

A koi pond?!!!

A new place, a good place

I have been very blessed to end up in a dorm with quite a few other Christian guys. Last Saturday they put together a big meal for all the Christians that included fish, chili, soft tacos and cheese sauce. They invited me even though I had nothing to offer. It was really cool. I hadn't seen anything on that scale since I've been in prison. There were at least thirty tacos and two huge bowls of Ramen, chili and beans.

The guys have a Bible study in the dayroom on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I didn't know about it until I was asked to join on Wednesday. Instead of a discussion-led study, I encountered an hour and a half-long message on "Who is Jesus?" that seemed more fit for unbelievers, at least those few who would sit and listen for 1 1/2 hours.

After the "study" I was asked by Vega, the gregarious coordinator of Christians, if I wanted to lead on Friday. Sheesh, I just got here, I thought, but I told him I'd pray about it and let him know what I heard the next day. I felt like I was being led to a topic so the following evening I told Vega I was ready.

I took the guys to Jesus' answer to the lawyer's question "What is the most important commandment?" In a nutshell, Jesus replied. "Love God, love people." I asked how we can honor and love God and got some great discussion going with some good examples, too. For loving people, I took them to 1 Corinthians 13 and we worked our way through each characteristic of love - What does a patient love look like? What does a kind love look like? Again, I received some creative answers that I didn't expect, yet fit perfectly. I closed by challenging them to think about how they are loving God and people through the weekend and the next week.

I had a few guys com eup to me afterward and tell me they needed to think about some of the stuff more often. I'm so glad to be in a spot with other beleivers actively participating in the Christ walk.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

- Matthew 22:36-40

Empty Study *

Last night I received a lay-in to go to a class today. I didn't ask for it, but I have been placed in a cognitive intervention class. This is a class many guys are put in before parole to help them stop themselves before making bad decisions.I don't know if they put me in the class because my parole is coming up soon or not.

The class is three hours long - noon to three - every weekday for three months. It wouldn't be so bad if the class itself wasn't so nuts. About three quarters of the twenty person class just acts up and disrupts the class. The teacher sounds like a public radio talk show host and doesn't seem to care about us but just wants to be right. Looking around the room, I recognized many posters showing techniques I learned in my two years of therapeutic counseling prior to incarceration. I asked the teacher after class what good this class would be for me if I've done most of it all before. Her answer was that "it becomes official."

So, the next three months will have three hours a day wasted so I can get a piece of paper. Just another hoop to jump through.

* "Prayer without study would be empty. Study without prayer would be blind." - Karl Barth

New job, new friend

My job assignment here fits the schedule I had at my previous unit. I am a dorm janitor on the night shift along with my cellie. He cleans our dorm while I clean the one next door. We turn out at midnight and stay out until 5 AM. All I do is sweep, mop and wipe down the tables. I have a co-worker, Matt, so it doesn't take more than an hour to finish. Then we sit around talking, go to breakfast at 3:30 AM, shower and hang out until we can go in. Depending on the guards who are working, we might go in early.

I've also been blessed with a great coworker in Matt. He's a couple years older than me and reminds me of a lot of the guys I hung out with before my incarceration. We have plenty of time to just chill after we finish working, so we've covered all kinds of topics. We joke around, talk about family and old girlfriends. We found out that our charges are similar, both committed at a young age.

Matt is still very angry about how his case was handled and some friends who left him because of it. Like me, he grew up in church, but many people turned on him instead of embracing him like I have been by many folks. I've tried to be an encouragement and I hope he finds some hope for himself. Until then, we'll continue to play catch across the dayroom with balled up socks and quote stupid movies.

A new friend from across the border

Because I am housed in a two-man cell I can separate myself form everyone else when I want to read or study. But that means I have a lot of interaction with my cellmate. Luckily, I have a great cellie from what I can tell so far.

Rivas is a Mexican national who doesn't speak much English. When I arrived he was on his hands and knees sweeping and mopping the cell with a towel. (We've made an agreement that we clean the cell every other day.) He greeted me right away and told me I could use his hotpot and radio whenever he wasn't using them.
This was great because it will probably take me a while to get my own. That first night he gave me some food because I didn't come with any. I didn't even ask for anything.

I can tell I've been blessed with a good cellie. I hope I can be a blessing to him, too.

Another place, another "home"

Yesterday I arrived at my permanent unit in Dayton outside Houston. I left the red-brick unit faster than I thought I would have. My poor cellie had been there over fifty days waiting to be moved while I left after four. On the way over here I was handcuffed to a guy who will be going home on parole soon after being in prison since 1984 - 25 years! Whew! I think any amount of time being incarcerated feels like it will last forever, but I'm glad I only have to do five at most instead of twenty-five.

After arriving at this 1100-man unit in the middle of nowhere, I sat in a cage outside for two hours while waiting to see the unit classification committee to get housing and job assignment. The housing here is also two-man cells, but they are bigger then those in the red-brick unit - about 9' X 12". Each bunk has its own window that opens to allow air through.

We have a desk with a shelf above it for storing our hygiene stuff. This is the first place I've been to where you can control the lighting in your own housing.

The cell opens into a dayroom lined with two floors of twenty cells and two shower areas with individual showers. There are eight tables on one side of the dayroom and two TV's facing each other with benches between.

The best thing so far is the presence of radios, hotpots, and fans. I haven't been able to get my own yet, but my cellie lets me use his hotpot and radio if he's not using them. I haven't been able to sit and listen to music in so long that it's worth all the commercials of stupid Clear Channel stations. For a few hours last night I lay in my bunk listening to classical music on public radio - not something I usually do but it was great!

I saw a few familiar faces when I showed up. There are a few guys from my first unit in Jasper and even more that I saw from my previous unit in San Saba. When I went to dinner last night, the guy filling the drink pitchers saw me and came over to say hello. He's a guy I played soccer with in San Saba and a strong Christian guy. It was really cool to see an old friend. I can already tell that God brought me to a good spot.

This new unit (new to me, anyway) is far different than any other I've been at. It's one of the oldest in the state. The outside and main hallways have giant Texas-themed murals. Unfortunately, the beauty does not continue to the inmate housing.

I am housed in a two-man cell on a row of twenty on the second floor of the wing. Each wing has four rows of twenty cells facing out toward windows. There are two rows on the ground floor and two on the second floor. My cell is probably the dirtiest place I've been. Most everything is rusted among the two bunks, lockers, desk and sink/toilet. There are drawings and writings on the wall left by the previous occupants.

The meals here are better in quality and quantity than my last unit. It's the first time that every meal has filled me up.

The showers are different than any other spot I've been. The whole wing goes down to the shower and waits in the line until a shower head among the thirty is unoccupied. When finished, a guard tosses a towel to you, and you dry off while asking for clothes from a laundry attendant. Efficient, I guess, but pretty humiliating.

Today started for me at 1 AM when a guard came in to tell the outgoing "chain" to get ready. We were called out of the dorm at 1:30, strip searched and placed in the same cage as when we arrived at this unit, only this time there were 26 of us instead of 11 - very cramped. We had to stay in that cage until the bus arrived at 4:30.

Once on the bus - again cramped due to being handcuffed to someone else and having to sit on a hump over the wheel - we began a ten-hour tour of Texas prisons. First we went across the street to pick up a few more passengers from a neighboring prison. Next we stopped in Gatesville to drop a couple guys off and pick up more. Then we dropped off a few more at a medical unit outside Huntsville before finally ending up at our final destination: an old red-brick prison where inmates are reclassified after their transfer time is up.

It didn't hit as hard today, but it was still kind of unsettling to ride in a moving vehicle that goes at speeds far faster than I have run for the past 18 months. The curves and bumps were even worse. I got used to it after a while, though.

The cool part of the trip was taking Highways 84 and 6 through part of my high school stomping grounds of Lorena, Woodway, and Waco. Highway 84 was part of my route to many church events, and the contractor I worked for after graduating has an office at the junction of 84 and 6. It hurt to see everything so close and not be able to stick around.

Waiting in faith

Well, my parole packet is complete and has been sent off to the parole board. I've been working on it for a little over a month with my parents' help typing it up and sending it back for edits. Since I came to prison, I've been writing to the board every couple of months on the advice of some older guys who had done time in the past. I want the parole boardvto see my progress, penitence and desire for release. As they say, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

My parole packet has a cover letter, table of contents, and the most recent letter I wrote to the board. After that I included my version of my offense and each disciplinary case I've received to make sure it's consistent with what they have and that the whole story is told.

Then I have a list of awards and accomplishments that I've received here and also prior to incarceration. I also included copies of certificates I've received.

Next is my parole plan outlining where I will live and work, how I will get around, plans for school and the different groups or individuals I have for support. Next I listed strengths that will help me complete my parole successfully, followed by a list of all the books I've read. Last are a few handpicked letters to the parole board written by family and friends.

Hopefully the board will see how much I have going for me, but at least I know I have done all I can do. God has been with me from the very beginning and nothing I've done toward parole has been done without the help of the Holy Spirit. Now all I do is wait for my interview in the next couple of months and continue to pray for God's wisdom to be with the board as they review my case.

Thank you to all all who have sent letters to the parole board on my behalf. That evidence of support could make the difference in their decision. Please continue to pray with me that the board would find good reason to release me so I can thank y'all in person with a big hug and tears of joy!

Make a joyful noise *

At chapel this evening the guest was a music professor from a local university who brought an oboe, clarinet, English horn, soprano sax, alto sax, and flute. While the worship team played, he played different instruments and did riffs off whatever we played, completely unrehearsed.

After the worship team had played, the professor played a number of songs on his own as we meditated on the lyrics. Usually I love the sound of the oboe. The film The Mission made me fall in love with its playful timbre. But tonight I was blessed most by the songs played on the flute, especially the first song he did, Lamb of God by Twila Paris.

My mom plays (or played; I don't know if she still picks it up) the flute and I remember hearing songs of hers when I was growing up. It wasn't often. Every now and then she had a piece she would be practicing for church. She also loves Twila Paris' music and it would ring through the house all the time when I was a kid. Hearing both of them - flute and Twila Paris - together, I couldn't help thinking about my mom.

I made sure to tell the professor how much his music blessed me and why. He told me he was glad that God worked through him and to pass on to my mom what happened. I sure will.

* "Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands" - Psalm 100:1 (KJV)