I've been in a foul mood for the past couple of days. I'll be leaving sometime this summer and I want to leave the library in good hands so my work isn't wasted. Unfortunately, the guys that are there right now don't seem to want to work, just hang out instead. This has been added stress on top of the stress of going home soon and facing all the unknowns that will meet me there, including the challenges I'm not even aware of right now.
I went to the worship service tonight. On each fifth Saturday of the month - usually one out of every three months has one - a worship band from Midlothian or Red Oak comes to do an all-music service. When I was in the choir, this was the only time that I was able to actually worship and now it's the only service I attend. All the other services have messages that I can't really relate to.
During this service I was able to just sing and allow God's love and grace wash over me. Music has always been a powerful force in my life and tonight was no different. I feel buoyed after praising my Creator, knowing that He has it all covered.
After the service I went to one the volunteers to talk and pray. He was about five years older than me so I figured he would be able to relate at least a little, I shared my concerns for my uncertain future and worries about the library, and the guy gave me reassurance that it is normal to stress out and reminded me that God is ready for my trust. After our prayer and farewell I was in a much better mood. It sounds silly but I feel like a pulled 180 tonight out of my funk.
My cellie Freddy left on Monday and I now have a young guy from Weatherford here with me. He ha only been in prison for a couple of months and this is his first cell. Everywhere else has been like a warehouse full of bunks. The cell offers much more privacy and quiet than Jeremy has had before, so he has been staying in the ell all day long since Monday.Some other guys in the dorm have noticed him absent from the dayroom and rec.
"Do you have a cellie?" they joke.
Yes, I have one. Right now it annoys me that he is in the cell all the time - I don't get any privacy - but I definitely understand why he stays in.
I've already told him to enjoy it for a little while. If it goes on too long, I'll have to give him the same speech I received when I stayed in a cell reading all day: We share the space, but we each need some alone time to unwind.
Side note: The Principal has been fired for her mistake.
Today has been pretty surreal.
I was insulted to the core by the principal, my boss' boss. She and the counselor came to the library this morning and asked me and my coworker to go to the hallway. After about ten minutes we were invited back in and the principal talked to all of us about the magazines we were ordering. It was during this conversation that she said the following:
Mr. Johnson, I've heard that you are a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. That is a group that hates blacks, hates Jews, and if you didn't know your boss' boss is a Jew, that's me. If I hear anything about you hating on anyone, I will put my hands on you and they will have to take you out of here on a stretcher and they will have to carry me off the unit."
When I heard this my jaw dropped. A look of confusion formed on my face. After slowly turning from my boss to my coworker to see their reactions, I said, quite naturally, "I'm confused."
Mr. Johnson, I'm not going to allow you to speak right now," directed the principal.
I stayed quiet.
When the principal and counselor left, my boss went to the front to tell her mom, who happens to be the warden's secretary, what had happened. I went next door to my friend, Le, and his boss, who is responsible for keeping the unit accredited. My adrenaline was flowing so fast that I couldn't even talk for five minutes. When I was finally able to spit out what had happened, Le's boss told me to write a statement. That would have been easy enough if my hands were still in control instead of shaking like a jackhammer. Thirty minutes, two cups of coffee and a water bottle later I started writing my statement.
First, I couldn't believe that the principal thought I was an idiot gang member. As a Christian I try to show Christ's love to anyone who receives it and I don't know how she got the impression that I hated anyone.
Secondly, she physically threatened me, something that many people end up in jail for. I don't know what will happen to her, but I hope she stays gone. She was escorted off the unit this afternoon and I'm told it is likely that she will not keep her job.
I woke up this morning around 2 AM when the power went out. My fan stopped blowing and the sudden lack of white noise slapped me from my sleep. When I looked out my window I couldn't even see the perimeter fence or lights that stand about twenty yards from my window. Sheets of horizontal rain flew by my window from the northwest. This intense rainfall was only visible by the frequent flashes of lightning all around. I heard the rumble of thunder for the firs time in years through those soundproof concrete walls. That's when I knew it was a big one.
In the dayroom I heard the exhaust vent in the ceiling flapping, first infrequently, then louder and in quick intervals. After a few minutes of watching out the window I heard a roar beginning to accompany the clattering. It sounded like a massive waterfall was hitting directly on our roof. That's when I started to get a little scared.
When I was nine or ten years old an F5 tornado hit Jarrell, a town about ten miles from my family's home. The small town was practically removed from existence, everything gone except concrete foundations with short pipes marking former kitchens and bathrooms. That stark environment had left an impression on me ever since.
Not that it would do any good if a tornado did hit, I took my face away from the window, put my head between my knees and prayed for safety. I knew that I would get sucked out the window at any moment and the roaring whistle from the vent was a great indicator that the moment was imminent.
Well, I guess since you're reading this, I wasn't sucked into oblivion by a force of nature. As far as I know, the unit came out unscathed. Others in the area were not so fortunate. One of the ladies in the mailroom said her daughter had her A/C unit come through a kitchen wall after the windows had imploded and shards of glass imbedded themselves in the drywall. Today that house in uninhabitable. Weather can be quite fearsome.
My family has been a board-gaming family for as long as I can remember. There were many evenings or Sunday afternoons [passed with a couple rounds of Pit, Othello, or any of the other games that occupied the top shelf of our entry room closet. Now I hear about game nights that my family hosts along new games I've never played. One game they raved about was Dixit, a French import that I had read great reviews for. Best of all, it's a card game so we could get a copy here.
My mom sent a copy of the expansion, which can also be played as a standalone. Tonight was the first time we played and it was a hit. You play by describing the picture on a card in such a way that everyone else contributes a card to make a lineup, at least one person, 
but not everyone, guesses your card.
The cards have very trippy artwork, so that it is difficult to even come up with a description at times. It is a game that almost anyone can play, which makes it great for this environment where not everyone has the brains for a strategy game.
We spent the whole game holding our ribs from laughter. The descriptions and cards that matches them were so off the wall that you couldn't help but chuckle. I can tell we will have fun with this one for a good while.
