Simply Awesome, a True Delight

Today was THE day! C. came to visit and it was absolutely wonderful! We were able to talk face-to-face and reassure each other about our situations. One thing that stood out to me was her still very warm love toward me. I know that she loves me and that is an amazing feeling.

Upon that love as a foundation, I brought up the question of engagement, relating again to Kenneth Taylor's (author of The Living Bible)) story - an engagement that could've lasted for years. How crazy is that? It's kind of scary to think about but I really do feel that God is with us. He has been a great Guide during the past few months and I feel like He has given His thumbs up.

Today was simply awesome, a true delight.

Hope and Joy - Henri Nouwen

"While optimism makes us live as if someday soon things will be better for us, hope frees us from the need to predict the future and allows us to live in the present, with the deep trust that God will never leave us alone, but will fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts.

"Often we have come to the discovery that what we have considered to be hope and joy were little more than selfish desires for success and rewards. Painful as this discovery may be, it can throw us right into the arms of the One who is the true source of hope and joy."

Journals to Fill

I received six composition books today! That ought to last me for a while. Also, an R.C. Sproul book and Bill Bryson's "Walk in the Woods". I read the Bryson book in county so I don't know why it was sent again, but I'll definitely read it again.

We were supposed to go to commissary today but the holiday traffic kept us at bay. Hopefully I'll be able to go tomorrow even though I got a case (written up) for not turning out for work last week. Silly field bosses.

C. (my girlfriend) is coming to visit this weekend and I can't wait! We'll have so much to talk about that I hope two hours is enough time. It will be the first time since mid-June that I've hugged her and the first time in two months that I have talked to her face-to-face. I don't know what I'd do if I lost contact with her.

In the beginning...

Because I'm on the "inside" - hence the name of this blog - I am denied computer access, much less access to the World Wide Web, so my blog is being designed and maintained by a family member. Entries are added as my "blog editor" receives my journal musings via the US Postal Service. As long as there are prisons there will be snail mail.

First, a little background history.

I am currently twenty years old and incarcerated in the most populous prison system in the world (Texas Has More Persons Under the Control of the Correctional System Than Any of the Other Three Most Populous States,(p.4))- the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. If Texas were its own country, it would have a prison system more populous than any other country. And we denounce China because of human rights abuses! I am serving a five year sentence for a crime I committed at the age of 14. Though I and many others, including professional therapists, court-appointed psychologists, numerous attorneys, clergy, and others believe that I have grown into a contributing member of society between the time of my original offense and the time that I was sentenced, the (in)justice system believed otherwise.

Prior to entering prison I was an honors program college student on the dean's list, a graphic artist for an international non-profit organization, and a leader in my college-group at church, leading a Bible study for other college students.

I plan to use my time on the inside to be an ambassador for Christ by offering to others the hope that I have found in a relationship with God's Son. I also plan to use my time to continue my education by reading whatever positive material I can get my hands on. Hopefully, I will leave these walls soon to continue my college education and pursue a career in graphic design. But, most importantly, I anticipate my return to family, friends, and church on the outside.

This blog is a way for me to not only make sense of the other culture on the inside but to process and share my thoughts on prison life and the experiences that I encounter. My hope is that what you read here offers you a glimpse into what it's like to be incarcerated and what goes on for those Waiting On the Inside.