For those of you who are curious, here is my reading list from 2009. The books are arranged in chronological order of my reading them with one star for recommended reading and two stars for my three favorites:
1. Kingless Land - Ed Greenwood
2. On the Road - Jack Kerouac * 3. The Jesus Way - Eugene Peterson
4. Truefaced - Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, John Lynch
5. Ex-Con for Christ - Dan Dugan
6. Watchman - Alan Moore * 7. Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
8. Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper
9. Walking With God - John Eldredge * 10. Othello - William Shakespeare
11. Midsummer Night's Dream -- William Shakespeare
12. Dr. Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
13. The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoevsky * 14. Darkness Visible - William Golding
15. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince * 16. Pygmalion - George Bernard Shaw
17. ABC of Architecture - James O'Gorman
18. Architecture - Jonathan Glancey
19. Architecture: A World History - Daniel Borden
20. Building - Mario Salvadori
21. Gulag Archipelago - Alexandr Solzhenitsyn ** 22. The Dharma Bums - Jack Kerouac * 23. The Housekeeper and the Professor - Yoko Ogawa ** 24. Architecture - Sinclair Gauldie * 25. Architecture as Art - Stanley Abercrombie
26. Shortcomings - Adrian Tomine
27. V For Vendetta - Alan Moore
28. Experiencing Architecture - Steen Eiler Rasmussen * 29. Real Christianity - William Wilberforce
30. Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand * 31. Black - Ted Dekker
32. Red - Ted Dekker
33. White - Ted Dekker
34. Same Kind of Different As Me - Ron Hall and Denver Moore * 35. Alvar Aalto - Nicholas Rey * 36. Godric - Frederick Buechner * 37. Turn of the Screw - Henry James
38. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hasseini * 39. A Thousand Splendid Suns _ Khaled Hasseini
40. The Road - Cormac McCarthy
41. Shadow's End - Sherri S. tepper
42. The Walking Road - Robert Kirkman
43. The Postman - David Brin * 44. Jedi Search - Kevin J. Anderson
45. Secrets in the Dark - Frederick Buechner **"How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book." ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Since we don't have any money here in prison, we are forced to go back to the Middle Ages to get many things we want by bartering. Yes, we have a commissary, but there are goods and services that the commissary doesn't provide, such as shoe repair, books, or extra ingredients on demand for that scrumptious spread you and your cellmate are throwing together.
For instance, my shoes were coming apart at the seams. Instead of spending $35 on a new pair through the commissary, I paid a guy a jar of hair grease and a couple Ramen soups to sew them up. This was about $3 worth of goods given to a guy who doesn't have any way of having commissary unless he works for it every now and then.
This system of bartering is in place despite the institutional rule against "trafficking and trading." This rule makes even giving away food to friends who are hungry unlawful. Needless to say, most guys ignore this rule. Every night there are groups of people in the day room sitting around a table digging into the same prsion pizza. And when someone leaves to go home, they often give away their useful items like shoes, hot pots, and radios.
Giving away these items also opens the market for a new service - forgery. Special purchase items, such as those useful items mentioned above, require property papers to prove ownership.When guys receive these items, whether by trade or gift, they need the property papers and etching to really make the items theirs. This is to prevent valuable items from being stolen. There are a few people who offer forged property papers and re-surfacing/re-etching to keep the items legitimate and in use.
Then there are the specific items that often can't be found in the dorm. Things like speakers and specific books often need word-of-mouth sent out around the unit to see if anyone has the goods or services you're looking for. I did this for two role-playing books that I needed to start up a game. The two books I found were being traded for about $10 worth of coffee and stamps, quite a deal for what are usually found in the free world for at least $50 new. The trade took place over a few days because it's tough to get stuff from one side of the unit to the other.
Just like when I lived in Africa, haggling is a valuable skill to have. Also, knowing the character of the person you trade with is important. Maybe I'm naive but I tend to trust people in transactions. I've been burned a couple times, but both times the transaction was eventually worked out. It's all in the wacky character of the market.
I had a visit from Sandy and Betsy today. This second meeting was far less awkward for me. I knew what to expect instead of spending the day wondering. It was different right from the start when I recognized both of them, and they also knew who they were looking for. Their smiles upon seeing me were the kind of encouragement I get from anyone else who visits me.
We sat down at a table and launched into conversation. I heard all about their Christmas and family dynamics around the holidays. They asked me new questions about my life here and prior to incarceration. The rest of the two hours were spent just talking life in general like any conversation you might have over lunch with a friend.
What a great Christmas gift to see these two wonderful women. I am so blessed by all the friends, some of which I barely knew before my arrest, who write me. Contact with these folks has been such motivation for me. The community of Christ is amazing and full of good surprises. I really appreciate all of you who write, even if it does take me a little time to write back.
* Three Friends - acrylic by Harry Rich
Those who walk in darkness will see a great light.
His name is Wonderful, Counselor, God of Might,
Eternal Father, and Prince of Peace.
He will be worshiped on bended knee.
God's only son about to be born
Celebrated this bright Christmas morn.
The angel told Mary "Do not be afraid.
You are with child. Jesus is his name."
In those days of Augustus a decree went out
For the number of citizens to be found.
So Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem,
But the inn they went to had no room for them.
During the night Mary gave birth
While shepherds were startled, hearing "Peace on Earth."
From an angel multitude of the heavenly host.
"Your Savior is in David town. Go now! Leave your post!"
The shepherds ran down the hills and into the town
To see Christ Jesus, Kings of Kings, with no crown.
They left and told all that had been seen and heard;
The first pastors to go out preaching the Word.
Now we, also simple, are called to do the same
Bringing glory and honor and praise to His name.
Isaiah 9:2, Luke 2:1-20
Christmas was pretty good this year for me. The cool stuff started yesterday with a meeting with a friend I had made in county jail and had written a few times. I saw Cameron in the dining hall, then hung out with him at rec for a couple of hours, catching up on everything new. He is one of the very few guys my age here that has an intelligent mind, We're also both big gamers and have similar taste in games. It's great to have a friend around that I can actually talk with about my interests.
Late Christmas Eve it began to snow, as huge front moved in. The little bit of flurries grew into a full winter storm (at least for north Texas) with snow whirling through the air in the high wind. When I woke this morning and looked out the window, I saw pasture land covered with white. The snow had stuck and I had my first white Christmas.
Our Christmas meal was even better than Thanksgiving. The kitchen is $60,000 under - UNDER! - budget so they went all out to make Christmas great. We had smoked turkey and turkey ham, stuffing and cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, and dinner rolls. Our dessert tray had apple and pumpkin pie slices from Sara Lee, a cup of Blue Bunny ice cream, a big brownie, and two oatmeal raisin cookies. After finishing the main tray, I only had room in my belly for the ice cream and then only because it would have been no good if melted.
Tonight I was surprised to see that the volunteers who usually come out on Fridays had actually come out on Christmas day. We had a great worship service and message as a great close to a wonderful day.
Today was the graduation ceremony for all the vocational programs that were completed this fall and the choir was on hand for musical help. This ceremony was different than any I've been to but it was a great way to encourage the guys and recognize their accomplishments.
The ceremony was held in our grungy gym surrounded by all the weights. Chairs were set up in two halves of the room - one set for family and the other for the graduates - with at least 100 chairs on either side. The front of the gym had the podium and long tables for the officials with the choir set up before and to the side. Strewn about the gym were decorations and completed projects from the carpentry class, such as a rocking horse and a UT-themed inlaid table.
During the set up and short practice, we lost one of our soloists who was kicked out of the choir on the spot for holding up his pants while singing. One of the guards told the chaplain he was 'holding his crotch' and out he went. Ridiculous. The event started while guests were still coming in and a few of the officials hadn't arrived. The Star-Spangled Banner was sung by a guy who went at such a high speed and pitch that he stopped three quarters of the way through it to figure out how to continue. Despite the flaws in execution (and there were more than these I've mentioned). This graduation was the first one for many of these guys and it was worth it to see family and show them who they are growing into. There were many proud mothers and fathers who beamed as their grown sons walked the "stage". I'm glad that the prison put the time and effort into making the event happen. Even that small investment can make a huge difference for some of these guys.
It's coming close to Christmas. That means it's time to get to work on Christmas cards. Late last week I took out some books and magazines to find inspiration. After a few hours of searching, I came up with a few ideas that I sketched out. From the sketches, I drew up two templates - one fairly simple and the other a bit more fancy. Once the templates were finished, it was time to transfer them to the cards. The fancy template took about twice as long to transfer and finish up, so I decided to only do a few of those for family, and use the simpler one for everyone else. Even then, each card takes about an hour to make.Last year I put a poetic Christmas prayer on the back of my cards, but I had trouble coming up with anything worthwhile this year. When I saw my parents this weekend, we spent some time talking about advent, which spurred me to read the traditional advent passages of Scripture. The pattern is obvious, so I took the Scriptures and rewrote them as a short poem.
Now that the two elements are complete, I can move forward making and sending out all the cards. I'm planning to send out twice as many as last year, so I should be busy this week - in a good way.
* River - Joni Mitchell
"Was it better to be guilty of sin while knowing there was a power that had punished you? Or was it better to be innocent and feel there was no power? Was it better to be lost in a horrid storm at sea, knowing there was land, or be sailing peacefully with no certainty of land anywhere?"
"For myself, I decided I would rather be guilty."
- Sherri S Tepper, Shadows End
Tonight was my first practice playing guitar with the worship team here. After meeting people and getting my hearings on the unit, I told the guy who leads the choir that I have experience leading worship and, if he wanted a guitarist, to let me know.
Like at San Saba, I didn't want to play unless they really need someone. I am content to be out in the crowd praising without any pressure. The choir leader, Porkchop, told me to go ahead and request to be put on the team. Because they already had a guitarist and two keyboardists, I pretty much dismissed it.
During the next week, a friend of mine, Lelan, said Porkchop wanted me to join and asked if I had dropped the request yet. Nope, I hadn't dropped it off and wouldn't until there was a need for me. Yesterday I was met by both Porkchop and Lelan, who runs the sound board, and asked if I had put in the request. No. Come to practice tomorrow anyway. Alright. I guess they really want me in there.
I showed up tonight not knowing what they expected me to do since they already had a guitarist, so I asked. Just grab a guitar and put rhythm in. They went off into songs I didn't know and I stood lost with a guitar in my hands. I gradually picked out notes and started picking along on the guitar. I am a self-taught guitar player and know very little music theory, so it's tough for me to fit in unless I know what's going on. This first practice was rough for me but Porkchop said I'll be great and to give it some time.
Today was a day I had been anticipating for some time. I had the chance to finally meet two women - mom and daughter - that I have been corresponding with for at least a year. It has been really cool to get to know them through writing, but sooner or later I would have to see Sandy and Betsy face-to-face so I could put a voice and personality to the letters.
Moving to this unit so close to home allowed our introduction to come quickly. When I heard from my mom that they would be coming today, I was pretty excited. That excited feeling mutated into anxiety, then nervousness. This would be my first time to meet them, and it takes place in a prison. What kind of meeting is that? Also, I haven't talked with any women I don't know in years. After being around men 24/7 won't it be awkward? As the time drew closer I had all these thoughts going through my head and I wanted everything as perfect as it could be. It felt kind of like a first date with someone you've never met, except in my case it was two someones.
Okay, so I'm waiting in the visitation room for Sandy and Betsy to arrive through the door. Will I recognize them as the people in the photo sent to me? Yep, there they are coming in. Now, are they going to greet with a hug? Yep, arms out from Sandy and a wonderful first embrace. And Betsy, too. We sit at a table and Sandy goes to get snacks. Rumored to be a talker, I was hoping Sandy would get us through the two hours, but now she's gone. What do I talk about?
The first few minutes were strange but I settled into the fact that, yes, these are the same people who had been writing and, yes, they are both wonderful people. We talked all over the place - what prison is like, vacations, living overseas, family, music, on and on. It was as if I had been reunited with two old friends. The two hours flew by far too quickly. As we hugged goodbye, I couldn't help but hope to see them again soon.
After my time in discussion with my parents and prayer I've decided to turn down the parole board's offer of eighteen months of treatment followed by parole. There are a number of reasons for my denial and I've tried to meet with the parole guy and warden here to talk with them about my decision. Because I haven't been able to talk with them,
I went ahead and drafted a letter to be sent to many different officials (to make sure it gets into the right hands) denying the parole offer.
I had some great supporting material for my decision sent to me by my mom. These letters from counselors and fact sheets from organizations helped back up most of my reasons, putting credentials behind my words. Without those references, I would have a hard time convincing anyone that I had made a sound decision and may have seemed a fool, but God knew I needed help.
Once I finished the letter, I shared it with a friend to get his reaction. "I guess you're serious, huh?" he remarked after reading the letter. " After seeing all that, I probably would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes."
Now I pray that the people who receive the letter will be prepared and open-minded to my decision and that no ill effects come of it.
Usually my workout partner, Doc, and I will go outside to run for a bit after we finish hitting the weights, but lately it's been too wet for us to go outside. Instead, we've been doing a full workout - body and mind - on the chessboard.
I haven't played chess in about two years. I played a bit in the county jail but there was an unbeatable player who ruined it for me. Most everyone else I've seen since has had attitudes while playing. Doc has been playing for a while, so he figured I needed a handicap. He grabbed a medicine ball and said that for every piece a person takes, he must do twenty pushups on the medicine ball.
We started playing pushups chess a week or so ago and do different exercises with the ball each time - sit-ups, throws, one-armed pushups. I'm still not a very good chess player or strong guy, but at least now I'm doing both at once.
* Isaac Asimov
