I finished making Power Grid last night. Finally, after more than a month (I think) of work, it's finished. I was going to do a play test today to refresh my memory but I was wakened for work. Like many other mornings it was a false alarm. Instead of playing the game I ate my oatmeal, cereal bar, and graham cracker and went back to sleep. Tomorrow is another day to play the game.
Yesterday's letter from C. really shook me up. Not too badly but enough to keep me up two nights in a row. So many guys have talked about their girlfriends or wives leaving them while they are in prison and C.'s thing with Diego was maybe the first sign that it could happen to me.
I don't mind C. dating other guys but I wish that she would tell me it's over between us first. I know that if I was at home right now we both wouldn't have to worry about it, but unfortunately that's not the case. As much as I miss her, I have not even sought magazines with lewd women in them ( though, if I am to be honest, the temptation is always there.) She has it much tougher than me because she has guys trying to pursue her, even if they know about me. I wish that I could make things right between us, but I'm powerless except through my letters. God is the only one who can release me from the bondage I'm in and the worry that plagues me.
Sometimes I wonder if C. is embarrassed by me being on probation or in prison. I think that if the situation were reversed I might be. I hope that it's not causing too much strain on her because she already has enough stress with school and extracurricular activities. Why do I have to be such a screw-up? I've ruined almost everything I've touched in the past five years, especially my own life. I'm working on my pride (though this environment certainly doesn't help in that area) but it won't go away. It's stuck on me like tar... sticky, oppressive, black ooze. When will I get the chance to prove that I am a good guy?
Lord, please raise me up to be your child, one who abides by your perfect will.
Yesterday's letter from C. really shook me up. Not too badly but enough to keep me up two nights in a row. So many guys have talked about their girlfriends or wives leaving them while they are in prison and C.'s thing with Diego was maybe the first sign that it could happen to me.
I don't mind C. dating other guys but I wish that she would tell me it's over between us first. I know that if I was at home right now we both wouldn't have to worry about it, but unfortunately that's not the case. As much as I miss her, I have not even sought magazines with lewd women in them ( though, if I am to be honest, the temptation is always there.) She has it much tougher than me because she has guys trying to pursue her, even if they know about me. I wish that I could make things right between us, but I'm powerless except through my letters. God is the only one who can release me from the bondage I'm in and the worry that plagues me.
Sometimes I wonder if C. is embarrassed by me being on probation or in prison. I think that if the situation were reversed I might be. I hope that it's not causing too much strain on her because she already has enough stress with school and extracurricular activities. Why do I have to be such a screw-up? I've ruined almost everything I've touched in the past five years, especially my own life. I'm working on my pride (though this environment certainly doesn't help in that area) but it won't go away. It's stuck on me like tar... sticky, oppressive, black ooze. When will I get the chance to prove that I am a good guy?
Lord, please raise me up to be your child, one who abides by your perfect will.
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