Another wrinkle

Well. today I got some not-so-great news. I'm not going to be able to finish my associate's degree. I lack a required computer proficiency credit.

I talked to one of the college counselors today about it and we couldn't come up with a solution other than getting the credit when I get out, but I'll be transferring to a four-year school anyway. The only computer course they offered here filled up before I had the chance to sign up. And the next computer class won't start until I'm about to leave this unit.

I had hoped to have a measured accomplishment to present to parole, but now that's out the window. I guess the bundle of random credits I have amassed will have to do. Now I work on my parole packet, read up on architecture, and research schools.

Changes afoot

I had an amazing event occur two days ago. The lieutenant in charge of the shower crew pulled me aside at dinner to ask if I thought it would be possible to clean the entire unit with only ten workers.

"Sure," I replied, "but the showers need to get completely clean first. In their current condition we'll be out all night."

"Okay. I was thinking about moving shower crew back to south hall - where you used to be. Do you think you can find ten hard workers?"

"Yes, sir."

"Alright. Give me a list on Sunday night of the guys you want down there with you. Make sure four of them are minorities, too."

I had just been asked to create my own custom dorm, unheard of for any inmate. I chose quite a few quickly, friends that I play games with and also work alongside. For the last five I was stuck so I asked a few guys around the dorm and got four more.

I couldn't figure out or persuade anyone to fill the last spot so I prayed about it, left the spot blank, and turned in my list. I hope we willl move quickly. This dorm is getting crazy with tattooing, smoiking, and just plain craziness. A small, quiet dorm would be a real blessing.

Milestone

My finals are over.

These should be the last couple of classes I need for my associate of arts degree, And I passed these both with A's.

The British Literature final was over Pygmalion and Harry Potter and felt more like an AR (Accelerated Reader, a program in public schools to encourage reading) test. The questions were all over details and never any deeper than what you could read on the pages of the book. This makes sense because we didn't go very deep in class, either.

The US History final was little tougher. I spent an hour last night studying and did a little more this afternoon. The studying paid off with a 96 on the final itself, which covered mostly post-WWII but also included material back to Lincoln.

I talked to one of the advisors that works at Central Texas College today. She looked over my transcript and said that I had a few holes. One of the holes should be filled by AP scores that the main campus has. (Apparently, CTC and the "campus" here keep two separate sets of records.) The other hole is a basic computer proficiency course which was only offered once and filled up before I could take it. I told her I could easily demonstrate my computer skills - I worked as a graphic artist and did a bit of web design before incarceration. I just don't know that there is any way to get credit for knowing this stuff if I don't take the class.

Now I'm just waiting to hear what the solution is. Until then, I'm researching colleges to attend on release.

Getting reacquainted

Today was the first practice I've had for the worship team. Now the tips of my fingers on my left hand are nearly raw and quite sore. That's the penalty for not playing for two years.

Even though I was a bit rusty, all the chords came back to me pretty quickly and the other guys were very forgiving. None of us are professionals by any measurement, but we lift a joyful noise. There were many times I just sang along, though I knew most of the songs on the guitar already.

Because I have finals on Wednesday when the chapel service is held, I won't be playing then. About halfway through practice I handed the guitar over to another guy so he could get some good time in. It is so great to be playing with these guys who love Christ and encourage one another. Such a better atmosphere than the dorm with all its profanity, insults and plain disrespect.

Words of Wisdom

"Not to bring up something upsetting, but when you leave here today, you may go through a period of unemployment. My suggestion is this: Enjoy the unemployment. Have a second cup of coffee. Go to the park. Read Walt Whitman. Walt Whitman loved being unemployed. I don't believe he ever did a day's work in his life. As you may know, he was a poet. If a lot of time goes by and you continue to be unemployed, you may want to announce to all appropriate parties that you have become a poet."

- John Patrick Shanley, commencement '09 at College of Mt. St Vincent

"There is no such thing as a self-made man or woman. Never was, never will be. We are all, as were those in the footsteps we follow, shaped by influences and examples of countless others - parents, grandparents, friends, rivals. And by those who wrote the music that moves us to our souls, those whose performance on the playing field or stage that took our breaths away, those who wrote the great charters which are the bedrock of our system of self-government. And so many who, to our benefit, struggles and suffered through times of trouble and grave uncertainty. And by teachers ... I want to stress as emphatically as I can the immmeasurable importance of teachers."

- David McCullough, commencement '09 at University of Oklahoma

(both excerpted by The New York Times, Sunday, June 14, 2009)

To not go about miserable *

A couple of weeks ago I was approached by one of the guitarists on the worship team and asked to join as another guitarist. This guy, Barbie, was leaving soon, knew I used to lead worship on the outside and wanted me to take over his position. I told him that I had classes during chapel until the end of the month, but could practice with them until the classes finished if they needed me. In the next week I had several more guys ask me whether I was going to join. Last week I sent a request to the chaplain to take over the guitarist position and told him about my previous experience leading worship prior to my incarceration. In the time it took me to receive an answer, both of the guitarists left the unit. Now I had no way of smoothly transitioning into the choir if I was allowed to join.

Today I received word from the chaplain that he would bring me on to practice for a couple weeks before putting me in during chapel service. That was good news and a relief. Not only have I not played with the worship team at all, but I also have not even touched a guitar since being arrested two years ago. Right now I'm excited to be used by God leading the music, but nervous about getting back in so quickly.

* "Without worship, we go about miserable." - A. W. Tozer

What's your worldview?

In a place like this you come across many different worldviews, some of which are very different from what society would call normal. With such people it becomes difficult to discuss anything of value - plans for the future, family, friends - without one side becoming completely frustrated by the other. I often am the one to back off as I don't want things to escalate.

Most guys have similar mindsets, that the street life they lived really is a life worth continuing after their release. They see the best approach to any problem is to be aggressive and to stand up for yourself through harsh words and, if necessary, violence. I think a lot of this is just posing to seem appear tougher that they are among their peers.

The guy have been talking with lately has a very different view from my own. Lewis proclaims to be a street punk from Houston, though he is from the suburbs and spent some time going to the University of Houston. He believes there needs to be a violent revolution that reverts civilization to its roots in anarchy. He says he places no value on any human life other than his own, which is obviously just a front because he relates with and eats with others every chance he gets. Again, I think this "out there" philosophy is just a very young guy hoping to get a reaction and some attention.

In all serious conversations I have with guys, I try to give positive options like investing in family relationships or pursuing a job they will enjoy. Many have given up on living a productive life as a member of their community. I do the best I can to reignite plans for a future that builds, not destroys, lives around them. I hope at least a little bit of what I say resonates and sinks in so they don't come back here.