This dorm is losing weight. All of our lockers are empty of food because we haven't been to commissary in a month. I don't think any of us expected to go so long between opportunities to buy food. For the past week, guys have been scrimping on their last bits of food - the last couple of soups, cookies ans shots of coffee. Now it's all gone.
I've been out of food for a few days and just ran out of cocoa yesterday. Everyone has been complaining about the huge delay. I've been coping by going to all three meals each day and eating everything on the tray. The gross stuff I shove down my throat and wash down with water as fast as I can. Some of the food goes down much easier than others. On Tuesday and Thursdays we get dessert. For a sweet tooth like me who likes to stock up on sugar in my locker, those desserts are the best part of the week. Until I make it to commissary, I'm going to have to rely on the kitchen to maintain my weight.
Tonight at Bible study we got journals to use to jot down daily prayers and the good and bad things that we do. It was really cool that the teacher got them for everyone. The journal is a turquoise (how manly!) leather-ish bound book with the serenity prayer embossed on the front and a different scripture on each page. We are supposed to use it as an encouragement and yardstick of our progress toward maturity.
I obviously already keep a journal; you're reading it. But I will be using this new one as a communication with God and reminder of what I act like. I think it will be cool to see where I've been in my Christian walk. I hope the other guys in the class find it useful, too.
I had a great visit with my mom today. I don't know why, but in one-on-one visits we usually talk about different stuff than when we would with others. The same is true for everyone else, too.
I found out today that I do not have a chance for an appeal at all. The lawyer at the juvenile justice non-profit foundation who was looking at my case said that, because of the agreement I made in the court judgment, I gave away almost all chances for appeal. The only appeal I could do would not fit my situation. She suggested filing a grievance with the state bar association for the ethics violations and continuing to pursue commutation and parole. I am hoping that she can write a recommendation now that she is familiar with my case.
I kind of figured there wouldn't be a shot at an appeal so it wasn't a huge letdown. It certainly wasn't good news, though. I chase commutation and parole even harder now that the favored option is gone. I really want to go home and put this prison life behind me, and I will explore every legitimate route to see if I can get there faster.
I have some catching up to do. Thank you to the people who sent cards and letters for Christmas! I'm in the process of writing letters and getting them out to everyone.
I'm kind of slow, but I will have them finished by Valentine's Day... ha, ha.
I feel behind in a lot of ways right now; letter writing is just one of them. I have a stack of books that I am excited to read, but I am moving through them very slowly. I think I described the distractions that hinder my progress.
I also feel behind in education. My high school graduating class is in its last year at university. I have many friends that will be graduating this year and I am left in their dust, stuck at my sophomore year. I'm trying to figure out a way to do correspondence courses to make some more progress toward graduating myself. My mom is helping my search and we may have found a solution through Ohio University's Program for the Incarcerated. I think I just have too much I want to accomplish and not enough time or resources to do them all.
Well, Biscuit left. His two years in transfer will be up soon, so he went to another unit for diagnostics and classification. He will stay in a two-man cell while he is interviewed. The interview results will be taken before a small committee and they will decide his classification and where to send him. The unit they assign him to will be his place of residence until he goes home on parole or discharges his entire sentence.
Unlike this unit, his destination will not have air conditioning and probably won't have education opportunities. However, he will be in a place with the opportunity to get a radio and finally listen to music. I hope that wherever he goes will be a good fit and there will be guys around him who will minister to him and build him up. I tried to be a friend and share Christ with him while he was here, but I don't know that I made any impact on him.
Tonight at Bible study I felt very aloof. The teacher kept referring to manly pride and how handing problems over to Christ makes them go away. I've never really had a problem with pride in the way he was talking about it and any problem that I've ever handed over was never solved instantly. Part of the reason I'm here is because I thought God would take the problem. Instead, it kept haunting me until I was confronted and had help and support.
I don't like when Christianity is offered and presented as a quick fix to life's problems, at least the big ones. There are a few guys here that came to Christianity with those expectations and have since become discouraged and fallen away. The evangelism that originally brought the guys to Christ was true, but overly optimistic, and as a result, they are more hardened now than they were before. How tragic!
Happy New Year! I'm hoping this year brings some positive developments my direction in school, freedom, and/or personal life. I would like to finish my basics for college somehow, even if it means doing correspondence classes. I hope to be ready for my junior year of university by the time I get home. I want to be home at some point this year and there are three ways I see it being possible: appeal with dismissal or change of punishment, commutation, or making my first parole this next December. My family and I are working hard toward all three options. I also would like to develop into a better servant for my Heavenly Father. More than anything else, I want to deepen my relation ship with Him and see His good and perfect will in my life. It's been tough, but fruitful so far during my incarceration.Last night we brought in the New Year very non traditionally. We watched two crazies attempt stunts on ESPN. The first guy was going for the first full flip of a truck.
He drove a modified truck that had the engine offset to the passenger side to counter his weight and shocks with different stiffness for the impact, which was said to put some kind of bone-shattering pressure on the crazy dude. The ramp he launched off of had a kicker at the apex that threw the truck into rotation. After several runs without a jump to line up his approach, the guy drove toward the ramp at 35 mph and flew into rotation. He landed barely off balance and his stiff shocks bounced him into a roll. Failure. He was close, though.The second guy was absolutely insane. He wanted to jump his dirt bike onto the Arc de Triomphe replica in Las Vegas, a nearly 100 ft height, and then jump off onto a transition ramp to take him to the ground. Any miscalculations would lead to serious injury or worse. I really thought I would be ringing in the new year by watching this guy kill himself. His fianc'ee was plenty worried, too. His bike would top out at 55 mph in 3rd gear and fly off a forty foot ramp. Crazy!
After a couple warm-up runs, he decided it was time to go. He rode across the flat, hit a ramp, and glided to the top of the structure with no problems. After circling the top and peering over the edge several times, the guy plunged over the edge and barely overshot the other ramp. He dropped his back tire to try to catch the transition and managed to bring the bike down under control, riding away victoriously. The impact gave him a gash and a broken hand from the handlebars, but he was in one piece to be hugged and kissed by is fiancee.
Maybe this year I can accomplish some great stuff like those two guys. And maybe I can hold onto my marbles while I do. Here's to a happy New Year!
This dorm is losing weight. All of our lockers are empty of food because we haven't been to commissary in a month. I don't think any of us expected to go so long between opportunities to buy food. For the past week, guys have been scrimping on their last bits of food - the last couple of soups, cookies ans shots of coffee. Now it's all gone.
I've been out of food for a few days and just ran out of cocoa yesterday. Everyone has been complaining about the huge delay. I've been coping by going to all three meals each day and eating everything on the tray. The gross stuff I shove down my throat and wash down with water as fast as I can. Some of the food goes down much easier than others. On Tuesday and Thursdays we get dessert. For a sweet tooth like me who likes to stock up on sugar in my locker, those desserts are the best part of the week. Until I make it to commissary, I'm going to have to rely on the kitchen to maintain my weight.
