Sometimes I just have to laugh at the new hires and their gung-ho attitude toward their jobs. I had a run in with a new guy at lunch today and he sure was eager to show off his new-found power over inmates. I don't think it turned out like he expected, though.At lunch I sat with two friends, eating and sharing conversation. The new guard, a short, round-faced black guy, came by and knocked on the steel table twice and moved on. Usually, when a guard knocks on the table, they add "time to go" afterward as a way to get us to finish up. However, inmates also knock the table twice as a way of saying "excuse me" before getting up from the table. Since the new guy didn't say anything when he knocked, I joked that he must have been telling us "excuse me" before leaving.
The guy next to me quipped that the guard reminded him of Carlton, from Fresh Prince. We all turned to look and chuckled at the resemblance. The other guy started humming one of the songs from the show and we all laughed. The new guy was too far away to hear the comments but saw us laughing and came over in a huff.
"Oh yeah, you think that's funny?" he asked as he leaned into my face. "Will it be funny when I take your ID and write you a case?"
"Really?" I gave him a quizzical look. "Here's my ID. Good luck with the case."
I knew he had no reason to write any of us a case so I didn't mind letting him show off his "authority". This knowledge was confirmed when I was called to the sergeant's office later.
"Johnson, it says here that you received a case for disobeying a direct order, but you were laughing at the table? This doesn't make sense."
"I was never given an order to do anything, sir. That includes handing over my ID, which I did voluntarily because the guard suggested it might be funny."
After a short explanation, the sergeant leaned back, put his hands behind his head and grinned. "You may leave now, Mr. Johnson."
The case was gone.
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