My bro Job...again

Due to the missed class Monday the professor decided to do a make-up class on Friday. Unfortunately the make-up class will be held at noon instead of the normal 5:30 PM time. Noon is like 3:00 AM to me because of my work schedule. I hope I'll be able to concentrate but I apologized to the professor in advance if I fell asleep.

In my personal reading I'm still struggling with Job. His friends' comments sound a lot like what I hear from guys here, both inmates and guards. I wouldn't say it's wrong thinking, but it is very misguided. This isn't a place where much positive thinking is done. Many guys are stuck in the same thought processes that led them here and the way the system is set up, there is nothing done to help them move out of those processes. Case management and counseling would go a long way toward getting all of us on the right track. And people wonder why recidivism rates are so high.

Different kinds of tests

Last week we took our first test in Sociology without actually covering all the material. Today we finished up those chapters even though we had already been tested over them. Doesn't make much sense to me, but, oh well.

I was really hurting just walking around today. My knees are aching terribly after yesterday's run. I need to strengthen my knees again after being absent from the field for so long. I could barely bend to clean the showers last night and I'm not looking forward to tonight's work, either.

Out of shape

Today the Philosophy class was canceled. That gave me the first opportunity to go to recreation in a long while. I got outside and figured I would take it easy on my run. I did a short warm up and a few stretches, then took off with a jog. For the first mile I was surprised at how fresh and fit I was feeling. I could breathe and cycle my legs without much effort. Even through the second mile I was running well.


When I completed the second mile I noticed a pain in my knees just below the joint. I used to get the same pain playing soccer during high school, but this felt much sharper. I had to stop the run after two and a half miles, not one of my best days at all. Not even average.

Security Blanket

For the first time in the six months that I've been on this unit, we exchanged our blankets this morning. Each inmate is issued standard "necessities" when they arrive at a unit: two shirts, two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, two boxers, two sheets, one mattress, one towel, and one wool blanket. Everything except the sheets, mattress, and blanket are exchanged each morning. The sheets are exchanged once a week. I had no idea when, or even if, our blankets would be traded for a clean one.

I've needed a clean blanket for quite a while, as I keep to my bunk most of the time and use one of my sheets as a pillow, so the blanket touches me directly. One month is a long time to use a blanket without washing, two is a little gross, but six months without a clean blanket is just trashy and disgusting. Boy, was I glad to finally get a new one.

I also got my first est in Sociology back today. The class is easy, the test was simple, so I didn't expect to get any lower than what I actually received - 106 out of 106. Even though I was the only one to score perfectly, the rest of the grades were A's with a few B's and C's. Quite a contrast to the philosophy class, which I'm sure will be graded tougher.

More than its fill *

This morning we had a visitor in the dorm. He got a couple guys pretty excited, too, to the point that they woke up everyone else in the dorm. I was already awake so I saw our visitor run in through a small hole in the wall. A mouse!

The unit must go through phases of mouse life because we seem to hit high rodent activity for a couple of weeks, then see nothing for a few months. Unfortunately for this mouse, he woke up and chose to be active.

The mouse stayed close to the wall as Biscuit and Jimmy tried to catch him with a broom and a jar. Under the bunk went the mouse; over and around went Biscuit and Jimmy. Their loud strategizing and banging around is what wakened the other guys. Finally, after several minutes of hooting and hollering, Biscuit caught the mouse's tail under the broom and Jimmy persuaded the mouse to crawl into the empty peanut butter jar.

Once caught, Biscuit wanted to keep the mouse and see how long it would live. However someone had other plans. Greg took the jar over to the hot water reservoir and emptied water to fill about a quarter of the jar. Ten seconds at most was all the time the poor mouse had to writhe in the scalding water. Satisfied that it was dead, Greg dumped the mouse into the toilet and flushed. The excitement certainly was short-lived.

* "A bird can roost but on one branch, a mouse can drink not more than its fill from a river." - Chinese proverb

Showing his true colors

Through the reading assignment the professor gave us Monday, I figured he was giving a clue to his own philosophical leanings. He had us read a section about Plato and his allegory of the cave, then skip forward 400 pages to the Nietzschean philosophy of the overman (Übermensch) and slave versus master mentality.

Sure enough, the prof told the class upfront that his favorite philosophers are Nietzsche and Heidegger (curiously, both are strongly committed to Nazism...creepy!) He said he views himself as the overman and the rest of society as the underman to be taken advantage of and dominated. The overman is supposed to be an enlightened person with his own created purpose. God is dead and so man is left to create his own fate.

Is it just me or does this guy sound completely full of himself? The sad thing is that many of the guys in class have no real foundation on which to stand and so they follow the prof's (misguided) authority. He is challenging us to be better thinkers but has a nihilistic view that offers little hope to his audience.

For me, the class has forced me to dig deeper into my faith and find out what I believe and why. Of course, I will always have doubts, but everyone has doubts every now and then, no matter what philosophy you ascribe to. I recognize that my faith is fragmentary and can't explain everything because - would you believe it? - my finite mind can't comprehend the infinite. That's why it's called faith.

"In contemplation, if a man begins with certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties." - Francis Bacon

Studying and other forms of recreation

Last night I studied for two hours in expec-tation of having a test in Philosophy today. Instead of the test, the professor had us trade in our textbooks for a new one just as we entered the classroom. I guess he likes the new textbook better. The test was called off and we told to read about forty pages for Wednesday's class. What a change of pace!

With the new(ish) schedule for work and classes, I'm not able to go to recreation during the week anymore. I'm in classes during the evening rec and asleep during the morning rec after staying up all night working. I really miss being able to go out and run on the field. It was my only alone time between staying in a dorm with nine other guys all day. Hopefully rec will be available on the weekends. This past weekend they were short-staffed while visitation was going on so rec didn't occur.