Wild at Heart

In the Thursday night Bible study, we have just started reading Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge. It's written as the woman's Wild at Heart, which the group finished just before I joined them. I felt like I ought to read Wild at Heart first to figure out the men's side before going in to the woman's book. We had an extra copy in the library, so I brought it home Friday to start chewing on.

Once I started, I wasn't content with chewing on Wild at heart; O had to inhale. I kept nodding my head in agreement or feeling my heart in my throat as I read about how God created a man and what keeps him form living up to his designed purpose. My mind kept thinking about how I don't live up to the title of "man" and where, in my past, my insecurities came from. There were many mini-prayers asking for my eyes to be opened and my deep wounds and fears to be dealt with.

I guess those prayers were answered. At no time last night was I asleep for more than two and half hours. Too many dreams that related to my reading ans thoughts woke me up. Each time, I took a minute to recall the dream and thank God for revealing me to myself. Even though I was irked by loss of sleep, it was cool to know that I was being dealt with. It's cliche, but be careful because you might get what you ask for. I'm glad my night was interrupted by m y Father's love, though.

I'm not finished with e book, yet, and even further from being who God has purposed me to be. However, I feel like a big change came this weekend in the way I look at myself and the guys around me. Some major questions have been answered and opened up to new things to think about. So far, my weekend has been nothing short of amazing and it's all because God is at work.