Fall in Love, Stay In Love

Nothing is more practical than finding God,
than falling in love in a quiet absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you will do with your evening,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read,
whom you know,
what breaks you heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.


Friar Pedro Arrupe, General Society of Jesus

I'm now enrolled in two classes, inching my way toward full-time (probably not happening here.) The local college was able to find a few more professors to teach at the prison. Of the new classes offered, I'd already taken a couple before I came to prison. So now I'm in a Sociology class and an Intro to Philosophy. It is sure to get interesting with some of the close-minded, stubborn guys here, but I'm looking forward to getting some more education.

One step closer.

Live from Austin, Texas (sort of...)

I was able to catch a bit of music today on Austin City Limits. A jazz group called New Orleans Social Club was playing, and playing great. They did a number of older protest songs like Fortunate Son and brought out a different New Orleanian to sing on almost every song. You could tell they had been to the emotional places in the songs. I always love and appreciate artists who connect with the music and their audience beyond the sounds.

My bro, Job

Tonight's chapel service wasn't all too nurturing for me. The songs' lyrics didn't seem to fit me well right now ("I'm accepted, you were condemned...". I'm not really very accepted right now seeing as how I'm locked up away from the world.) The message was geared toward non-Christians about the dangers of not accepting the Gospel and Christ into their lives. I've been through the acceptance of Christ and have no intentions of turning away from that relationship.


In my personal reading I'm in the middle of Job. I read through Job about a year ago and got some encouragement out of it as I commiserated with him in his circumstances of misfortune. Now, a year later, I'm tired of the suffering and really don't want to dwell on it any longer. Through the day I experience joy and use this journal to vent frustrations. I feel like I'm just in a never-ending mud football game and haven't had the chance to get away from all the scheming to wash off and return to life.

Job, I may not have fallen as far as you, but I'm with you, bro. I'm just as sick of suffering as you are.

"...Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.
Job 2:10

School's In!

I started class today. I've been waiting since I got to this unit and finally got a class. I'm only taking one class, Intro to Sociology, but at least it is something. Sadly, at this pace it will be years before an Associate's degree is complete and they aren't even offering core classes because professors can't be found to teach them.


If the first day is any indication, the rest of the session is going to be a breeze. Maybe a hot, sticky summer kind of breeze because the education building doesn't have any air conditioning yet. The teacher seems smart, but I think she puts on a show of ditzy stupidity to relate better to the inmates. She's hip to much of what goes on in here which I think will help both us and her.

I really hope I can take more classes and perhaps more of them along the lines of a typical liberal arts track like the business classes that are offered. The education is lacking, but at least it's going somewhere.

The Jesus Way - Eugene Peterson

We need testing. God tests us.
Have we slipped into the habit of insisting that God do what we ask or want or need him to do,
treating him as an idol designed for our own satisfaction?
Does God serve us or do we serve God?
Do we require a God that we can fully understand and control,
or are we willing to be obedient to what we do not understand
and could never control?

Is God a mystery of goodness whom we embrace and trust,
or is God a formula for getting the most out of life on our terms?

Have we thought all along that God is there to serve us?

Do we want God in our own image
or do we want the God who is beyond us and over us,
who we trust will do for us what only God can do
in the way that only God can do it -
no strings attached,
no reservations,
no caveats,
the whole hog?

The test will tell us.

"On that day you will be glad, even if you have to go through many hard trials for a while. Your faith will be like gold that has been tested in a fire. And these trials will prove that your faith is worth much more than gold that can be destroyed. They will show that you will be given praise and honor and glory when Jesus Christ returns." 1 Peter 1:6-7 (Contemporary English Version)

The Key Is ...

I got last night off from work even though most of the other guys went out. I guess they don't quite honor federal holidays around here despite the title Labor Day.

I actually like my job pretty well. The hours are odd but fit my schedule just fine. I'm used to staying up all night for the quiet anyway. I like being able to move around the unit and see different people every night. I'm often able to talk with my friends in the other dorms that I otherwise wouldn't see.

I'm still having trouble with courage to share my faith. I know I should be having purposeful conversations with guys, but I just don't know when to do it. The dorm has guys who will jump in to cannibalize conversation and I'm always running or playing soccer while at rec. It's something I want to do more often but can't find good opportunities.